I'm sitting here enjoying my second cup of coffee, twins are napping, laundry is drying and kiddos are watching a movie. I don't want to bring the universe's attention to it, but it is a relaxing moment amidst the chaos!
Lately I find myself laying awake at night and in the early morning hours composing blog posts in my brain. I tend to lose them though as my brain tends to go about a millions miles a minute, and a have a debilitating condition commonly known as "Mommy Brain." It's real. I try to write down any ideas that drift across my thoughts when I can in my notebook, but I can't always get to it. So today is a random sit down and type post!
I have so many things I want to write about that I find it hard to focus sometimes. My birthday is coming up and I find myself feeling lost and reflective. I'm immersed in motherhood and the day to day struggles that accompany that. I think I've talked about this before but it's something I find myself thinking about a lot. I am a mother but that is not my whole identity. Factoid: I actually was a real functioning human before I became a mother.
I feel like I've lived almost half a lifetime and have not accomplished much of anything. I love being a mother and I love my boys more than anything but I sometimes feel unfulfilled. Changing diapers, doing laundry, cleaning and playing referee between fighting boys is not exactly intellectually stimulating.
I've always been the kind of person who was good at many different things but not amazing at one single thing. What I want more than anything right now is to find what I'm meant to do. Something I love, enjoy and am passionate about. I've worked in a lab, I've worked as an X-ray tech in hospitals and clinics. None of these have been bad and I'm a pretty good X-ray tech if I do say so myself but I have so many things I want to do!
My amazing friend Melissa from The Crazy Celiac just launched her own small business called Pippin's Gluten Free Pastries! I am so proud of her! She's found her passion and she acted on it! I am a little jealous as well though - which is ok to admit!
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Pippins-Gluten-Free-Pastries/335463473274402
I have several ideas for small businesses running through my head but have no idea how to even begin to attempt such things, especially while having four boys under the age of eight. I would love to form some kind of business, perhaps with other mommy friends, and be able to mesh the raising of kids with a successful small business. I'm sure these are all pipe dreams; I have no business background, no capital and no ability to write a business plan. But I can dream, right?
So I'll continue to change diapers, make meals and wash clothes, but as I fall asleep I'll imagine a world where all my ideas come to fruition. That and one where all the boys behave, don't fight and clean up their own messes. That one would be awesome too.
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