I'm shy; I used to be painfully so and people thought I was just bitchy and stuck up. I'm a classic introvert. A perfect day to me would be being able to sit quietly, alone, reading books or watching a movie I love.
Introverts out there can purchase this awesome shirt by clicking on the following link:
http://skreened.com/iloveyourshirt/introverts-unite-individuallyI was even treated for several years when I was younger for social anxiety disorder. I would make myself sick before social events and avoid them completely. I'm much more comfortable these days in social situations but if I don't know you I'm still very quiet. Once I get to know you though I will talk your ear off and let you see the nerdy, quirky real side of me. And once we are friends I am typically a very loyal friend and I will see you through to the end!
Self esteem has also been a lifelong struggle of mine. I've always felt too fat, not pretty enough and just plain not good enough for a lot of things. It's taken me years but I have finally gotten to the point where I am not really concerned with what other people think of me. I am happy in my own skin and that in turn makes my other relationships happier!
The hubby travels a lot. When he's gone it's usually the four boys and I fending for ourselves. But the longer he's gone and the longer it's just the boys and I, I tend to retreat into myself. We don't go anywhere, we have days where we don't get out of pajamas, and I slowly text or call my friends less and less. It's a vicious cycle, and while I'm in that cycle I hate it. It's miserable and lonely and I want to talk to people but then find excuses to not do it. It's hard to drag myself out of this cycle, and it typically takes some time after the hubby returns to come out of it. I love spending time with my friends but it's so hard with all the boys that if he hubby's not around I just don't do it and that's what would be the best medicine for me. Once I'm out doing stuff (most of the time) we all have fun and enjoy it, but it's the getting me there that can sometimes be a problem.
I really have to appreciate and thank my friends who stick with me, and put up with my withdrawal during these cycles! I have some amazing friends that it seems like we can go days or even weeks of not talking and then we fall right back into where we were. But friendship is work just like a marriage, and I need to make myself put in my share of the "work." I need to force myself to make the calls and texts, and try to suggest plans for outings or play dates. I'm doing better, but there are some that need a little extra effort to keep in touch right now and I'm trying!
I'm a work in progress....but aren't we all!
Until next time!
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